Growing up I was always a true believer in fairytales. I was intrigued with the charming prince sweeping the beautiful princess off her feet, and carrying her off into the sunset. It inspired me to make my own fairytale and my own “happy ending”. As I got older I began to realize that the reality of a happy ending was just non-existent. There’s no such thing as a happy ending, or is there?
My Fairytale began in elementary school, back when I believed every boy had cooties, but in some odd way I was still interested. I also started to realize that boys had very different behavior than girls. I would offer my gushers fruit snack to my first grade school. Gushers are a gem shaped snack, any kid dream snack that comes in different colors and flavors and are filled with high fructose corn syrup. When you shared a gusher it had high value when traded at lunchtime.
Well, my school crush way of saying thank you would consist of putting worms in my milk, putting glue in my hair, and kicking dirt on my white nylon tights. After being tortured for an entire week, which seemed like eternity I finally got the courage to ask him “why are you so mean to me?” He responded bluntly “because I like you” and that is when I realize that boys are weird, crazy and unstable creatures.
That day at recess, instead of playing tag with my friends I sat on the monkey bars completely confused about what just happen. I pulled out my Cinderella book out of my backpack, and began to skim through pages and looking for some type of clue that could help me makes sense of this confusion. I am sad to say the glass slipper illusion had no answers. That day I learned that Cinderella was a fake, and an imposter! I threw the damn book in garbage, but soon ran to get it. Forgetting that it was from the public library, also I did not want to give up on Cinderella yet.
High school is where I would have my first “real” relationship. It was difficult because I was threatened by love. Love in my opinion is a powerful drug that can blind you from reality, it is almost like your living in your own fairytale. Although I had these feelings during the relationship, it lasted for 4 years. It ended when I started college. I found that attending college in Virginia and with him living New York started false accusations. The lack of trust took it’s toll, the relationship ended in 2005 leaving me to walk alone into my own sunset I have been single ever since.
I haven’t had a relationship in 4 years. I can admit it’s lonely, but I’m ready to take a challenge and face my fear on love. I am just sick of the half commitments that I have been getting. I find that men do not want to grow up or the glass slipper just does not fit.
I have yet to find “prince charming” and in some odd way I think I’ve been poisoned like Snow White. My single life has been cursed to sleep till eternity, Carrie, a character on the popular T.V shows Sex in the City said it best “What if Snow White was a real and Prince Charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in the glass coffin forever? Or would she have sooner or later wake up, spit out the awful apple, got a job, a health-care package and a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank? Inside every self-assured, ambitious, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be rescued?”
Being single is a gift and curse. You love the independence but miss the companionship that a relationship can offer. There has to be a solution, and E-harmony is not the answer. My best friend mom stated that “being single isn't the cause of loneliness, and marriage is not necessarily the cure. There are many lonely married people as well.” And I agree, but it’s so annoying to be the single one amongst all your friends. Have I’ve been locked in dungeon? My friend’s says that there is no rush and love will find you when you least expect it. I just hope that love does not knock at the same time death does.
For now I’m going to sit in my castle and just wait to be rescued. I am just like any other woman. I’m waiting for the knight in shining armor. Until then I’m going continue to be the vibrant individual that I am. Hey how can you get bored with yourself? As for me, I am content with my thoughts for company. It’s been my company for 4 years.
Personally, I am not holding my breath waiting for Prince Charming. I love my life, and I am not forced to clean up anyone's dirty socks, except my very own. For now, I think it’s best that way. If someday I see dirty socks that are not mine on my floor, I will provide space for them.
Do I have any wise guidance or ideas for single women? Maintain an open heart and mind, and let life guide you to beautiful places. You never know, you can possibly meet some nice people.
Adore and take pleasure in the people who are in your life now, and more importantly yourself. Be grateful for your family and friends, and have an open mind to new people, even if you’re not interested romantically. For now I’m going to appreciate and embrace the single life, and ride off into my own sunset. I may have to help prince charming along the way, Happy Singles Day! :)
x0x0x,
Kitty
0 comments:
Post a Comment