Chemistry of Dating

Today I mark the death of dating. Yeah..yeah I know what your thinking. Let kitty pull wool off your eyes. See, both genders has made so many rules when it comes to dating, that now it has become to complex for one to enjoy...I compare it chemistry. All these formulas and constructed elements.. just sucks the fun out of it.

You cant just go to the movies and enjoy ones company. So much pressure is emphasized on is he/she marriage material?..does this mean were boyfriend/ girlfriend? Why can't we just enjoy THE DAMN MOVIE!!!!! Why must me put Labels?

See the whole origin of dating was to get your feet wet, enjoy life and potential meet someone you eventually start a relationship with.

The difference now is we dont allow it to happen naturally. We try to force a flower to bloom. When we all know that with rain and little sunshine will eventually cause it to appear. Being inpatient, we over water the seed and over nourish it and it never blossoms.

I think time is essential, but in the mean time why can't we enjoy movies, dinner, or drinks. If naturally it turns out that he/she becomes your boo great! But if not whats wrong with having a great time with a friend.

What we fail to realize that it should actually be a fun experience. You meet different people, and when you get down to the science of dating it's a place for experimenting.

You put the wrong chemical together and it explodes in your face. It's okay dust off your lab coat and make note, that the particular chemical is highly flammable lol...

Put on your big girl/boy lab coats and snap on some goggles and go at it and rebirth dating

I say we call it dating chic*

Laugh, enjoy life and date chic ;)

Mr. Big King Of All Weeds :)

 

Every chick has her Mr. Big it comes in all shapes, size and forms. For me Mr. Big was perfect, or so I thought. See every girl at some point of their life has an epiphany, an ahh haa moment. My ahh haa moment came just in time..

I FINALLY SEE IT!! In all he was choking my growth! you know..Instead of giving me room to bloom, he was a weed. It was time for him to be pulled..

See the growing feeling of restlessness in my spirit that had me fighting against the constraints of my life and ridding my existence of any excess baggage and turmoil and drama finally! burst to the surface, awakening my senses and opening my eyes for what felt like the very first time.

Suddenly every word that came out of his mouth..every text..every faded promise.. sounded false, and hollow, and empty. His complete inability to ever let me scratch beneath the surface of who he REALLY was and get close enough to SEE and FEEL... his heart felt like laminate, or a shiny veneer; a smooth coating of what he WANTED me to see instead of what I NEEDED him to be. 

I suddenly realized that I was no longer in love with who this person was, but with the potential of who I thought he could be…and as my friend put it so succinctly at lunch a few weeks ago..” You can't date the potential of who someone could be. You have to date the reality of who they are.”

As Big went on and on about something –With random texts or calls and blah messages  – I managed to find my voice.

His lies and faded promises had completely filled my garden of self- worth.. what was once so pretty turned into something that no longer added to my life, but subtracted from it.. In all Mr. Big is just a minor player..in the much bigger story of my life. I’m no longer giving him more power than he deserve.. you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.

I'm building my roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. .After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So I’m planting my own garden and decorate my own soul, instead of waiting for someone to invade it and plant flowers disguised as weeds

So ladies it's possible to find a rooted strong rose within your self to finally kill these life sucking Mr. Big I call weeds :)

Crazy people

Working with the criminal justice system you see the most random things. I truly believe that if I spent half of my time blogging about what goes on at my job, you probably would not believe me.

Hell I wouldn't believe me too! Today defendants were in a cell passing a blunt to each other... The funny and also nasty part though, they are searched thoroughly, in order for something to pass you have to hide things I places that can't be found.

Is weed that important to you that you would smoke a blunt that was hidden in someones ass crack?!

More importantly why add another charge, and possibly spend a extra day in jail because you decided to get high off a substance laced with booty juice and shit chips?!

What happen to ones priority and common sense? And the authority to make conscious decisions...?

Thoughts...

XoXo,
Kitty

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Revolving Door

Well hello, yea I know it’s been FOREVER since I blogged anything, well praise Moses that I found a job been with them for 7 months now yay. The bad part is I work weekends, holidays and my days off are in the middle of the week.

Now I don’t want to sound ungrateful, cause I’m not! But….this job has led to me to really cut off contact will people and miss a lot of events, like birthdays, new years, thanksgiving, Christmas. The thing is, my job is a 24hr operation so that’s why, I guess… (Shrugs). Working within the criminal justice system opens your eyes to crazy things that you only see on the wire (covers eyes)

Anyway, as far my love life I’m single….still, lol but hell I don’t even have time for one really (that’s my excuse so I don’t sound like a total looser). See I was talking to this one guy but he said “im not really looking for relationship right now, I just want to focus on school” and 3 weeks later.. Facebook shows me that his relationship status went from single to “in relationship “ with ugly red shape thing next to it. What made me even more upset was every time I logged on that was the first thing I saw on my newsfeed. Like shit, thanks facebook for reminding me for the 100^th timmmmme!!!!!!

I truly believe in honesty, yea I know everyone says that but do they really mean it? Couldn’t he just say I don’t see myself in relationship with you? ..Or I’ve met someone else and I like her more. Trying to spear my feelings and lying just hurt me more than the fact that you don’t want to date me.

The other day I went to Macy’s and went through the revolving door, while pushing I thought that this door was so similar to my relationships. Guys who I thought were capable but….zip through. I just want one to find one that can actually stand still with me.

Then I asked myself, when it comes to relationships how many revolving doors do one have to go through before they get dizzy? And how long does the room spin in utter confusion?

Oh and by the way, i have been in this utter confusion stage for quite sometime..is that normal lol?

Thoughts?...

xoxo,

kitty <3