The Revolving Door

Well hello, yea I know it’s been FOREVER since I blogged anything, well praise Moses that I found a job been with them for 7 months now yay. The bad part is I work weekends, holidays and my days off are in the middle of the week.

Now I don’t want to sound ungrateful, cause I’m not! But….this job has led to me to really cut off contact will people and miss a lot of events, like birthdays, new years, thanksgiving, Christmas. The thing is, my job is a 24hr operation so that’s why, I guess… (Shrugs). Working within the criminal justice system opens your eyes to crazy things that you only see on the wire (covers eyes)

Anyway, as far my love life I’m single….still, lol but hell I don’t even have time for one really (that’s my excuse so I don’t sound like a total looser). See I was talking to this one guy but he said “im not really looking for relationship right now, I just want to focus on school” and 3 weeks later.. Facebook shows me that his relationship status went from single to “in relationship “ with ugly red shape thing next to it. What made me even more upset was every time I logged on that was the first thing I saw on my newsfeed. Like shit, thanks facebook for reminding me for the 100^th timmmmme!!!!!!

I truly believe in honesty, yea I know everyone says that but do they really mean it? Couldn’t he just say I don’t see myself in relationship with you? ..Or I’ve met someone else and I like her more. Trying to spear my feelings and lying just hurt me more than the fact that you don’t want to date me.

The other day I went to Macy’s and went through the revolving door, while pushing I thought that this door was so similar to my relationships. Guys who I thought were capable but….zip through. I just want one to find one that can actually stand still with me.

Then I asked myself, when it comes to relationships how many revolving doors do one have to go through before they get dizzy? And how long does the room spin in utter confusion?

Oh and by the way, i have been in this utter confusion stage for quite sometime..is that normal lol?

Thoughts?...

xoxo,

kitty <3