Mr. Big King Of All Weeds :)

 

Every chick has her Mr. Big it comes in all shapes, size and forms. For me Mr. Big was perfect, or so I thought. See every girl at some point of their life has an epiphany, an ahh haa moment. My ahh haa moment came just in time..

I FINALLY SEE IT!! In all he was choking my growth! you know..Instead of giving me room to bloom, he was a weed. It was time for him to be pulled..

See the growing feeling of restlessness in my spirit that had me fighting against the constraints of my life and ridding my existence of any excess baggage and turmoil and drama finally! burst to the surface, awakening my senses and opening my eyes for what felt like the very first time.

Suddenly every word that came out of his mouth..every text..every faded promise.. sounded false, and hollow, and empty. His complete inability to ever let me scratch beneath the surface of who he REALLY was and get close enough to SEE and FEEL... his heart felt like laminate, or a shiny veneer; a smooth coating of what he WANTED me to see instead of what I NEEDED him to be. 

I suddenly realized that I was no longer in love with who this person was, but with the potential of who I thought he could be…and as my friend put it so succinctly at lunch a few weeks ago..” You can't date the potential of who someone could be. You have to date the reality of who they are.”

As Big went on and on about something –With random texts or calls and blah messages  – I managed to find my voice.

His lies and faded promises had completely filled my garden of self- worth.. what was once so pretty turned into something that no longer added to my life, but subtracted from it.. In all Mr. Big is just a minor player..in the much bigger story of my life. I’m no longer giving him more power than he deserve.. you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.

I'm building my roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. .After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So I’m planting my own garden and decorate my own soul, instead of waiting for someone to invade it and plant flowers disguised as weeds

So ladies it's possible to find a rooted strong rose within your self to finally kill these life sucking Mr. Big I call weeds :)

The Jezebel..food for thought

The portrayal of Black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are: seductive, alluring, worldly, tempting, and lewd. Historically, White women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-control, self-respect, and modest, and even sexual purity, but for Black women they were are often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of Black women is signified by the name Jezebel.

The belief that Blacks are sexually lewd and promiscuous came from the institution of slavery in America. Europeans traveled to Africa and found scantily clad natives. This semi nudity was misjudged as lewdness.

The Jezebel stereotype was used during slavery as a justification for sexual relations between White men and Black women, especially sexual unions that include slavers and slaves. The Jezebel was depicted as a Black woman with an insatiable appetite for sex. She was not satisfied with Black men. At the same time, Black men convicted of raping White women were usually castrated, hanged, or both.

The idea that Black women were naturally and inevitably sexually promiscuous was reinforced by several features of the slavery institution. Slaves, whether on the auction block or offered privately for sale, were often stripped naked and physically examined. In theory, this was done to insure that they were healthy, able to reproduce, and, equally important, to look for whipping scars, the presence of which implied that the slave was rebellious.

Black slave women were also frequently pregnant. The institution of slavery depended on Black women to supply future slaves. By every method imaginable, slave women were "encouraged" to reproduce. Some slavers, for example, offered a new pig for each child born to a slave family, a new dress to the slave woman for each surviving infant, or no work on Saturdays to Black women who produced six children. Young Black girls were encouraged to have sex as "anticipatory socialization" for their later status as "breeders." When they did reproduce, their fertility was seen, as proof of their insatiable sexual appetites.


The portrayal of Black women as Jezebel whores began in slavery, extended through the Jim Crow period, and continues today. With hyper-sexualized images and media content, some black women have used prevailing stereotypes about the black female body for their own monetary gain. This leads to unwanted continuum of the portrayal of the black women. I am not an angry black woman, but I am a woman that god has blessed with understanding and consciousness.

The Role of African American Women in the Black Church

The role of African American women in the black church is an interesting concept, woman outnumber men in the pew, yet are rarely seen in the pulpit. Actually, black women have been the backbone of the black church. But they’re great amount of important contributions are made as lay leaders, compared to religious heads of churches. Question is why aren't black women serving as spiritual leaders? And in spite of this obvious gender inequality in the black church, why does church life continue to be so important to so many black women?

According to James Henry Harris, pastor of Mount Pleasant Baptist Church in Norfolk, Virginia, and adjunct assistant professor of philosophy at Old Dominion, states: “Women in black churches outnumber men by more than two to one; yet in positions of authority and responsibility the ratio is reversed.” Even though African American woman are slowly entering as pastors, bishops, elders and deacons, women and men are still resistant and fearful of development.

When churches approved a woman to the preaching ministry over a decade ago, nearly all the male deacons and many women members disagree the action by requesting to custom and selected Scripture passages. Black theology and the black churches have to contract with the double repression of black women in church and society. Christianity became prominent in black society because it was a religion of empowerment and spiritual freedom that sustained them through the ravages of racism and slavery. But still to this day African American woman in churches are faced with abundant of issues that Christianity stood against. According to James Henry Harris, black theology and the black churches should address sexism against black women, and I totally agree.

X0x0,

Kitty<3